Hopefully I'm not revealing too much, or giving too much away?? You can't really see my dress, and it still will have some alterations. I just think this is such a gorgeous happy and loved-up pic of us both -by the brilliant local photographer Jason Bryant. And I also feel so proud of Wayne. He hadnt slept properly for 4 days, still been going to work, and was still in a lot of pain due to his cylcle of intense 'cluster headaches' otherwise known as 'suicide headaches'. Bless him. He is so strong and brave. My real life hero, i love him so much. So happy to honestly be marrying the man of my dreams. and my soul mate. ( Get a room ! lol )
It's been a bit of a roller coaster ride this week , if I'm honest. If you've watched my video post ( find it in the Archives) then you'll know that we're 'financially challenged' to put in mildly. Despite both working - we're still on a really low income. The government's ridiculous attitude to childcare has meant we struggle to make ends meet on a normal month, let alone when we have a wedding to plan and pay for! Thank you SO SO MUCH to all the local people and businesses who have gone out of their way to support us, donate things, and discount their services. This honestly wouldn't be happening without you.
I generally try to put on a bubbly front, and a brave face- but there have been times over the last week where I have had to cancel meetings because I couldn't afford the price of a coffee in the place we'd arranged to meet, or I didn't have the bus fare. It's frustrating, depressing and just feel so unfair ! I'm a passionate, creative and intelligent woman. I'm a bloody good mum, business woman, and I'm not afraid of hard work. I spent so long studying in order to gain first my A-Levels, then my Batchelors Degree, my Theatre Diploma, my OCN in Radio Production,became an entrepeneur and started my own business in Sweden, and learnt fluent Swedish! So how come, at aged 38 - I am struggling to make ends meet, living in rented accomodation, and planning my wedding on a budget of under five hundred quid!? I mean, I can feel things are on the up - or atleast I hope they are. Writing this blog, and the column in the local paper- have revived my interest in journalism and PR. I sent off a load of ( well worded, if I do say so myself) press releases last week, and within the hour was having an interview for Heart Fm. From that interview ( which was only an 'and finally') came the offer of a feature in 'Fabulous' magazine - the mag which is in The Sun Newspaper. And today, I was all dressed up having a photo shoot in the High Street, with Shepton Mallet's own, amazingly lovely Jason Bryant. For a brief 30 minutes I felt like a mini-celeb, and thoughts of finding enough money to fix the car, and feed the leccy meter - faded away. It was brilliant. And I want to allow myself to dream, that I have within me, the means and the motivation- to be something better, to provide a more stable and affluent life for my kids. I started an 'inspiration' page on Pinterest, named 'In My 40's' with images of farmhouse kitchens, home offices, and business women. I almost drowned in a hot bath, listening to 'You can change your life' cd by Paul Mckenna! So... now, I've got all that off my chest--I dont want anyone to feel sorry for me. But only to realise, that while this all seems pretty glam, and some days it can be. Most days, I'm the same as every other mum. Wracked with stress and guilt, and hoping that my luck will change.Or that, just maybe - I can stay strong enough, for long enough - that I'll be able to change my luck for myself -for good ! Heather Bryson, Mrs.Banks, Mrs. Heather Juliette Banks, Mrs. Bryson, Mrs. Heather Bryson-Banks, Mrs. Bryson-Banks- oh god ! It’s a nightmare! I’m so stressed out about changing my name, and terrified of hurting Wayne , if decide to go ‘double.-barrelled’. But honestly, I wonder what most men would say , or how they’d feel if they suddenly had to give up their family name - for a woman. It’s my identity, my heritage, my childhood- good and bad, my struggles, my family history. Frank W Bryson, my grandfather - a respected artist at the London Royal Institute of Art, his impressive oil paintings (in the attic until we find a bigger house) usually adorn the walls, despite their slightly dark, post-war feel. Then there’s my beloved Uncle Paddy. This was published in the Liverpool Echo, after he passed away in 2013. "A MEMORIAL service at Liverpool’s Metropolitan Cathedral celebrated the life of a local legend.Colonel Graeme “Paddy” Bryson OBE , who died in September aged 99, enjoyed an incredible career which saw him serve as a soldier, before working as a lawyer, judge and author of historical books.It was as a Liverpool judge he hit national headlines after becoming the first judge to be shot at in a UK court when he was overseeing a bankruptcy case against nightclub owner George Wilkie.He was awarded a Queen’s Order for his bravery, which saw him tackle the gunman.Col Bryson was commissioned into the Territorial Army in 1936 and went on to fight in the Second World War.He was also a prominent Catholic who received a Papal Knighthood and, having studied at Liverpool University, was made an honorary doctorate of law in December 2011.The Colonel was also Liverpool and county president of the Royal British Legion.The special service at the cathedral took place after hundreds of mourners attended his funeral in Little Crosby in October.At the funeral Lord Lieutenant of Merseyside, Dame Lorna Muirhead DBE gave a touching tribute, describing Paddy as “a giant of a man who touched so many lives”.Among those attending yesterday’s service was comedian Ken Dodd who paid tribute to his friend.He said: “Paddy was a great man who did so much wonderful work all over Merseyside.”Long time friend and former military man, Roy Bevan, said: “For 99 years old he was astounding. I think he crammed half a dozen lives into one lifetime – he was a true legend.” Our family is full of inspirational characters , including Josiah Wedgwood - of the pottery empire. my son Harry is named after him ( Harry Josiah Banks ) . http://www.thepotteries.org/potters/wedgwood.htm Initially I felt that a double- barreled name was a bit posh or poncy, but if it means I can keep a link to my family history - then I don’t care. I’m also planning to do a lot more writing. My column in The Shepton Mallet Journal has been a blessing, and I am really enjoying this blog. I’ve always wanted to write about the crazy time we spent living in North Sweden, am convinced ‘ Six years in Lapland’ could rival ‘Seven Years in Tibet’ . Authors often have fancy names, so thats another reason to go for it! I just don’t want Wayne to feel like I am rejecting him, or belittling HIS family or history in any way. Theyre an interesting and feisty bunch themselves - the Banks’s , I can tell you! And both my boys have already taken his family name. For now, I just have to really think about what will feel right for me, and for our family. Nevermind tradition or feminism. I have to have a name I’m proud of. Shepton Mallet Registry Office |
About the author - Heather BrysonI'm a 38 year old mum of two, living with my partner Wayne, two dags and two cats in the lovely Somerset town of Shepton Mallet. Archives
June 2015
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